Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Win at the credit scoring game

To get the best deal on a loan, you need some new strategies to bump up your score - and keep it there.

Money Magazine) -- Borrowing money today requires impressing an increasingly hard-to-please crowd. With creditors of all kinds more cautious than ever, you need an A+ application to land the best terms -- and that means an A+ credit score, the number lenders use to judge your risk of default.

The most commonly used credit scoring system, called FICO, rates people from a very risky 300 to a pristine 850. And right now we're in the middle of a credit score crunch: "You need a 750 or better today to have the same treatment you got with a 700 two years ago," says John Ulzheimer, president of consumer education at Credit.com.

John D'Onofrio, CEO of Autoloandaily.com, seconds that: "Two years ago a 680 was enough to get a great car loan rate. Today it's often the minimum to qualify at all."

Think you're still in the clear? Don't be so sure. Lenders have been making changes that could cause your score to slip from excellent to average. Improve and protect your number with these strategies:

Learn your score. You have three FICO scores, based on your credit reports at the three credit bureaus: Experian, Equifax, and TransUnion. The numbers tend to be in the same ballpark, so pony up $16 to get one representative score at myfico.com. You can get an estimate free at Creditkarma.com. But the FICO score gives you a better sense of what lenders see.

Scout for mistakes. Your scores are only as good as the information they're based on. And a third of people who've pulled their reports have found errors, according to a Zogby poll. That's good reason to read your report.

When you buy your FICO score, you'll get a copy of the report it was based on. Get gratis histories from the other bureaus via annualcreditreport.com (you're entitled to one free from each bureau every 12 months).

Spot an error? Request a correction, following the instructions on the bureau's website. Let's say the size of a credit line was misstated or an account was mistakenly marked delinquent. Getting the error fixed could raise your score as much as 200 points, says Ulzheimer, who has also worked for Equifax and FICO.

Never, ever be late. As you'll see in the pie chart on the right, the biggest chunk of your credit score comes from your payment history. Just one late payment can shave 100 points off a 750-plus credit score, says Ulzheimer. Lenders can't tattle on you to the bureaus until you're 30 days past due, adds credit expert Gerri Detweiler. But don't risk it. For all your bills, enter recurring due-date reminders on your computer calendar.

Missed a payment? Get back on track within the next 30 days, and you should "get back the lion's share" of points lost, Ulzheimer says. More than 90 days late? The damage can stick for years. If it was a one-off lapse, call your issuer and plea for a good-will adjustment to your credit report. (It's a long shot.)

Remember the magic 20%. The second-biggest factor in your score is how much you owe vs. how much credit has been extended to you. The part of this that's easiest to finesse is your credit card utilization rate, or your total card balances compared with your total credit limits, as well as each card's balance relative to its limit.

Example: If you've charged $5,000 on cards and have $50,000 in credit, your rate is 10%. For the best score today, 10% is ideal, but you can probably creep up to 20% and keep a high rating.

Unfortunately, with banks lowering credit limits and canceling unused cards, it's harder to maintain such a low percentage. In the previous example, if your available credit is cut to $20,000, your rate shoots to 25%. That could sink your score by as much as 50 points, says Ulzheimer. The lesson: Know your limits, watch for changes, and stay under 20% on each card and in total (0% if you'll be applying for a loan soon).

Already above 20%? Paying down debt is the obvious way to lower your utilization rate, but another strategy is to apply for an additional credit card to increase your overall credit limit. That may cause you to lose a few points in the short term -- so don't do it if you're about to apply for a mortgage -- but it should pay off in the long run.

Keep oldest cards in play. As noted, credit issuers these days are eagerly canceling cards that are not in use. Besides reducing your limit and increasing your utilization ratio, having an account closed can hurt you in another way, especially if it's among your older ones.

See, 15% of your score rides on the length of your credit history. The longer you ably manage revolving debt, the better you look. So don't cancel your oldest cards. And don't let them get canceled on you: Move a recurring charge to each so they stay active.

Already ditched or been ditched? A new card (see previous) can help with your utilization rate, but there's little you can do to help the "history" component of your score, except to keep other old accounts in use.

Accept fate on the rest. There are other factors involved in your score, but they're not so easy to manipulate. For example, 10% is based on how well you manage a mix of credit types, such as mortgages, car loans, and credit cards. But you don't want to go out and, say, finance a car just for a score boost; besides, you can easily get 750-plus with just a few well-tended credit cards.

Along the same lines, 10% is based on "new credit," but the effects of a new application can be positive or negative, depending on your history.

In other words, if you want to be among the crème de la credit crème, accept what you can't change, and focus on what you can. To top of page

fico_chart2.gif

Setting And Achieving Goals The SMART Way

Whether you’re trying to advance your career or achieve something significant in your personal life, at some stage you will need to set yourself some goals and work towards achieving them. But, just being able to set a goal is not enough. Promising yourself that you’ll do something is easy, actually doing it can be a lot harder.

Most of us tend to have many goals at any one time, we want to be happy and rich, we want to lose weight, we want to drink less and quit smoking. While those are all great things to work towards, they are not really very well defined, they are more of an ambition, a statement of intent rather than a concrete objective.

How will you measure your level of happiness? How rich do you actually want to be? Do actually NEED to lose weight? How much less do you want to drink and by what stage do you want to be cigarette free? How will you even begin to do any of this?
Goals need focus and context, and this is where many people struggle and so their ambitions remain forever out of reach.

The SMART System

When I first learned about the SMART system, I was very excited. It crystallized something in my mind, something I believe I always knew, but could never put my finger on. Having learned about it I was almost immediately able to pinpoint where I went wrong (or right) with some of my recent personal successes and failures. Let me share with you what SMART is all about.

SMART is an acronym that stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-Boxed. You apply the SMART criteria to any goal you wish to achieve and if it does not meet any of the five characteristics you clarify and adjust it until it does.
  • Specific
    You jeopardize your chances of success from the very start when you make a goal too general. There is no point just saying you want to run faster. You need to make it more concrete, i.e. “I want to be able to improve my average time for a 5 mile run by 1 minute”, is much better and is something that you can really work towards.

  • Measurable
    You need a way to be able to tell that you have achieved what you set out to achieve. Making a goal measurable is directly related to making it specific. The more specific your objective is the easier it becomes to measure it and gauge your progress. If you can’t find a way to measure your progress towards your goal, then you most likely need to make it more specific.

    One of the best things about having a measurable objective is having the ability to set yourself milestones. It is much easier to achieve a tough objective when you can break the journey up into smaller increments. It’s a psychological thing, by giving yourself a series of successes along the way, through meeting a set of milestones, you give yourself positive reinforcement and working towards your goal becomes a much more pleasurable experience.

  • Achievable
    It is one of the most frustrating things in the world when something you’re really passionate about is simply beyond your power or control. Don’t put yourself in that situation. You may really want to make 1 billion dollars by tomorrow or solve world hunger by the end of the month, but realistically you have no chance of achieving either of those. You need to be realistic about your goal-setting. Some things may simply be beyond your influence, like becoming a Formula 1 driver in your 40s or being close personal friends with the Queen of England.

    Be reasonable and make sure your goals are something you can actually accomplish. Don’t get me wrong, it is fine to have ‘stretch goals’ (forgive the management terminology), but when it is physically impossible for you to stretch that far, you need to set your sights a little lower.

  • Relevant
    If you don’t believe in something, when you’re not passionate about what you’re doing, it is not only extremely difficult to keep doing it, but you also get very little personal satisfaction from achieving milestones or even attaining the final objective itself. Don’t waste your time; make sure your goal is something that really matters to you. This one is perhaps the most difficult of the five as it can require a bit of soul searching to figure out what is really important to you. Do invest the time, zero-in on the things that are truly important to you, don’t set goals arbitrarily.

  • Time-Boxed
    We tend to work best when we are working towards a deadline. If we know that we need to achieve our objectives by a certain date we tend to have more focus and prioritize. Without a concrete deadline our goals are at best fuzzy and will tend to always be superseded by ‘more pressing’ concerns. Time-box your goals , more than that, time-box the milestones on the way to your goal it will give you extra motivation and encourage you to push on towards the next milestone on the way to your objective.
Finally remember that you can never set your goals in isolation. Your objectives must make sense in the context of your environment. You may want to backpack around Europe for 6 months, but if you have a wife and 3 young children, is that goal really achievable or even relevant in the grand scheme of things? And even if you did push on with achieving this goal would you be prepared to pay the price (alienating or losing your family)?

As for me, I first learned about SMART from a great book I read earlier this year – “Pragmatic Thinking and Learning: Refactor Your Wetware” by Andy Hunt - which by the way is an excellent read if you want to learn more about how your brain works and tap the potential of your mind more fully.

What really got my attention was the fact that Andy mentions that using SMART objectives is “an old favorite from the consultant’s bag of tricks”. I had never heard of it in almost 4 years of doing software consulting, so my curiosity was piqued. Since learning about SMART I have tried to apply it not only in my personal life but also in my work and it has made a noticeable difference. Not only am I more productive, but I am also happier since I am a lot better able to achieve the objectives I set for myself (primarily because I set my goals in such a way as to meet all the SMART characteristics). It just feels like I am getting a lot more done these days possibly because I tend to focus on bite-sized goals that are most important and relevant to me (which is what SMART is all about). Try it yourself, you’re bound to notice the difference

Monday, August 17, 2009

Stock Your Bar for $100

Stocking a bar is a difficult task. Stocking a bar for $100 is even more difficult. Let's take a look at three different methods for gearing up your liquor cabinet for parties of various sizes on the cheap.

Photo by this_could_be_my_house.

Note: Now is a good time to remind everyone of the dangers of alcohol. College is definitely a time to make mistakes, but please—for the love of God—do so safely. You don't need to be a college student to invite 15 of your closest friends over for some drinks, but like it or not, alcohol is an integral part of most people's college experience and good things (like new friendships) can come from it. This is one of the more popular posts on HackCollege, and it's also one of my favorite. —Kelly

Limiting Factors:

  • Cost
  • Number of People
  • Length of Party

This is a lot of stuff. Take everything with a (margarita) grain of salt and make changes as you see fit. No party is exactly the same; likewise no party has the same requirements. And—depending on your state's liquor laws, taxes, or store rip-off-ness—prices vary.

Building the Bare Bones Bar:

Before having a solid house party, you need a good foundation. If you want a full-out bar, you'll need all of these things, but pick and choose depending on the situation.

The essentials (some of which you only buy once in a blue moon)

  • Tonic water
  • Sour mixes
  • Soda water
  • Ginger ale
  • Light cream
  • Lime juice
  • Grenadine
  • Triple sec

Stuff that you probably already have but need to get if you don't

  • Milk
  • Water
  • Ice (about a pound per person)
  • Salt
  • Nutmeg
  • Limes/lemons
  • Garnishes
  • Juices (OJ, cranberry)

The essential liquor combos:

  • 2 lights
  • 2 darks
  • Vermouth

$100 Bar for a Cocktail Party (10-15 People):

With a cocktail clambake, quality of alcohol is key. Dumping Monarch rum into a potentially delicious daiquiri is just plain unacceptable. You won't be able to stock a bar with every alcohol you can imagine and still afford the mid-shelf liquors that any cocktail party needs. We chose alcohols for covering your cocktail party drink bases, rather than providing the ability to make that obscure drink out of your friend's iPhone drink mixing widget. Gin and Tonics, not Sex on the Beach.

For a cocktail party with less than 15 people, you will need 4 to 5 fifths of booze. For a well-rounded bar, we recommend:

First Priority - Spirits:

  • Vodka, 750 mL ($14-$19): Smirnoff, SKYY or Finlandia
  • Rum, 750 mL ($14-$18): Sailor Jerry's, Captain Morgan, Barcardi
  • Gin, 750 mL ($15-$23): Seagram's, Beefeater or Bombay
  • Whiskey, 200 ml ($8-$12): Jack, Jim Bean, or Johnnie Walker

Second Priority - Beer and Wine:

  • Classy Beer, 12 pack ($16-$20): New Castle, Guiness, or something along those lines
  • Kickass Cheap Wine, ($5-$8/bottle): See our interview with Gary Vaynerchuk of WineLibraryTV at the end of the HackCollege Podcast Episode 18 for some great recommendations.

The spirits here will equate to roughly 2.5 liters of 80 proof booze. That's 56 shots for those keeping track. With the beer and wine, that means each person is getting the D.A.R.E. equivalent of 4-6 drinks per person depending on how many people attend.

The number of fifths bought can be increased if your fans aren't fans of beer. Or if you refuse to serve gin, just balance everything out. Remember though: you aren't building this bar for yourself, but for all of your attendees.

$100 Bar for a Soirée (30 People):

Unfortunately, this is tough. You'll be forced to skimp on quality to come in under budget. So, do one thing and do it well. You'll want to choose 1 or 2 drinks that you'll be serving and stick with those. Long Islands are too complicated. Instead, think Screwdriver or Slow Gin Fizz. Plastic handles will be your best friend for the 30-person soirée. Here is an example:

White Russians

Our target here is 5 drinks per person. Here's your standard White Russian recipe:

  • 2 shots vodka
  • 1 shot coffee liqueur
  • 1-3 oz. milk

Vodka tends to be much less expensive than coffee liqueur. Once the party's over, vodka is going to be much more flexible in mixing other drinks in the future. But if you insist on drinking the Dude's drink, go for it. The results will be delicious.

A note: Kahlua is going to destroy your budget. Side with another coffee liqueur. We prefer Copa de Oro for our wallet-friendly White Russians.

$100 ingredients for White Russians:

  • 2 handles Vodka ($20 each)
  • 1 handle Copa De Oro ($17)
  • 2 gallons milk ($8)
  • Remainder on beer ($35) (perhaps the milky Guinness?)

Mix your drinks right, serve in small Solo cups and you've got yourself a soirée.

The 100-Person Rager on a Budget:

Those who have left college needn't read on. If you're just going to get crazy for a night, you can't really have a budget — but you should know what you're getting yourself into. If you're planning on having a rager with 100 people for about 6 hours, you'll spend about $380 in the cheapest situation, given the breakdown below. This allots each person a drunkness of 7-8 drinks.

  • 2 kegs ($100-$140 a piece): This is the mainstay of college drinking. You'd rather run out of liquor than beer.
  • 9 handles, varying alcohols ($15-$20 per jug): If you really want to class it up, you'd get 19 fifths instead and vary your liquor brands even more. If you're too lazy to tend a bar, buy the same amount, and mix up some Jungle Juice.
  • 5 standard box wines ($9-$12 per box): This might offend some people, but it'll only account for about an eighth of the budget/ham-boned-ness at your party.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

What does DVDscr, TELESYNC, CAM, R5 etc. mean?

Have you ever downloaded a movie from torrent sites and wondered what those weird code from its filename means? Take for example, this file that I downloaded saw:

Lions.for.Lambs.R5.LiNE.XViD-HLS.avi
Let’s break it into segments:
Lions.for.Lambs is the title of the movie
R5.Line is the release type
XVid is the compression used
HLS is the group that released the video

For the downloader, the important part is the release type for this will tell you the quality of the video.
Here are the rest of known release types and their definitions:

CAMA cam is a theater rip usually done with a digital video camera. A mini tripod is sometimes used, but a lot of the time this wont be possible, so the camera might shake. Also seating placement isn’t always idle, and it might be filmed from an angle. Sound is taken from the onboard microphone of the camera, and especially in comedies, laughter can often be heard during the film. Due to these factors picture and sound quality are usually quite poor.

TELESYNC (TS)A telesync is the same spec as a CAM except it uses an external audio source (most likely an audio jack in the chair for hard of hearing people). A direct audio source does not ensure a good quality audio source, as a lot of background noise can interfere. A lot of the times a telesync is filmed in an empty cinema or from the projection booth with a professional camera, giving a better picture quality.

TELECINE (TC)A telecine machine copies the film digitally from the reels. Sound and picture should be very good, but due to the equipment involved and cost telecines are fairly uncommon. Generally the film will be in correct aspect ratio, although 4:3 telecines have existed.

SCREENER (SCR)A pre VHS tape, sent to rental stores, and various other places for promotional use. A screener is supplied on a VHS tape, and is usually in a 4:3 (full screen) a/r, although letterboxed screeners are sometimes found. The main draw back is a “ticker” (a message that scrolls past at the bottom of the screen, with the copyright and anti-copy telephone number). Depending on the equipment used, screener quality can range from excellent if done from a MASTER copy, to very poor if done on an old VHS recorder thru poor capture equipment on a copied tape.

DVD-SCREENER (DVDscr)Same premise as a screener, but transferred off a DVD. Usually letterbox , but without the extras that a DVD retail would contain. The ticker is not usually in the black bars, and will disrupt the viewing. If the ripper has any skill, a DVDscr should be very good.

DVDRipA copy of the final released DVD. If possible this is released PRE retail (for example, Star Wars episode 2) again, should be excellent quality.

WORKPRINT (WP)A workprint is a copy of the film that has not been finished. It can be missing scenes, music, and quality can range from excellent to very poor. Some WPs are very different from the final print (Men In Black is missing all the aliens, and has actors in their places) and others can contain extra scenes (Jay and Silent Bob) .

R5 or R5.Line R5 releases differ from normal releases in that they are a direct Telecine transfer of the film without any of the image processing. They take the information from the DVD disc and sync it to an English version of the film, usually a previously released version. Which means that the sound often isn’t as good as DVDRips. In some cases, R5 DVDs may be released without an English audio track, requiring pirates to use the direct line audio from the film’s theatrical release. In this case, the pirated release should be tagged with “.LINE” to distinguish it from a release with a DVD audio track.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

More Ways to Eliminate Cellphone Voicemail Instructions

New York Times tech columnist/reviewer David Pogue continues his worthy war against unnecessary, money-grabbing voicemail "instructions," digging up an actual elimination tip for Sprint customers and a few suggestions for everyone else.

As most people know by now, cellphone voicemail systems offer "guidance" to callers on how to leave a message. You do it "after the tone," you see, and sometimes you can even learn how to "send a numeric page." It's all explained to eat up the caller's phone minutes, and each carrier seems to have their own magic button one must hit to skip straight to leaving a message.

Gina compressed those magic buttons into a single "One-Star-Pound algorithm, although it's one that requires a good bit of active work on the caller's part. Pogue learned that Sprint customers could join iPhone owners in having those instructions entirely eliminated:

Access your voice mail box. Press 3, for personal options.
 Press 2, for greetings.
 Press 1, to change your personal greeting.
 Press 3, to add or remove the caller instructions. Follow the prompts to turn instructions on or off.

Pogue's readers suggested those who can't turn off their voicemail "instructions" or "prompts" to record a personal greeting that includes the magic button, as in, "You've reached Kevin, hit star to leave a message." That can come off a bit rushed and informal with the wrong recording, but it's not a bad idea, and can definitely be construed as a courtesy by busy callers.

BattCursor Turns Your Mouse Cursor into a High-Visibility Battery Meter

Windows: When you're away from an outlet and flying on battery power alone, keeping an eye on how much juice your laptop has is critical. BattCursor makes it easy to track how much power you have left.

BattCursor has multiple ways of helping you keep track of your battery life. The method for which it was named is, as seen here, turning the cursor into a floating battery meter. As you run low the cursor gives both the percentage and a visual indicator.

If you're using the Aero Glass style you can also set BattCursor to tint the title bars of windows. When your battery is full or nearly full the title bars are their regular blue color. As you run out of batteries they begin to shift through a spectrum of warning colors until the title bars are red. You can also set BattCursor to disable Aero Glass once your battery is running low to squeeze a little more life out of the battery by not using a resource-heavy style.

If you have a favorite program for keeping an eye on laptop battery life—or even milking your battery for more time—let's hear about it in the comments. BattCursor is freeware and requires Windows Vista or higher.

How Does Your Day Match Up to the National Average?

Time is a finite commodity, which makes knowing how to allocate it well all the more important. The New York Times looked into the daily habits of thousands of Americans and rounded up the results in a beautiful chart in ten-minute increments.

(Click the image above for a closer look, or just hit the link below for the interactive NYT graph.)

Not surprisingly, sleeping, eating, working, and watching television take up two-thirds of our average day. According to other statistics culled by The Times, at 6 p.m. most Americans are looking to finish up work, while at 8:50 p.m., four percent of Americans are traveling. And by 12:40 a.m., 87 percent of all Americans are in bed. As for time spent on personal care (which includes showering and grooming)? Americans spent an average of 47 seconds per day making themselves look and feel good.

All of this leads us to ask: How do these findings reflect your own habits? Do they mirror how you spend your time? If not, tell us what activities do take up most of your hours and how, if at all, that's changed over the years?

Score $9 Flights On JetBlue

Vacations can get pricey, especially where purchasing airline tickets is concerned. Luckily JetBlue is offering some cost savings in the form of one-way Monday flight deals for as little as nine bucks.

How to Save Money on Car Insurance



Keep your driving record clean

In other words, don’t get nailed for speeding like I did a few months back. I was fortunate in that it was a first offense, and I was able to keep my record clean by pleading nolo contendre (no contest) and paying the fine, but… Next time I won’t be so lucky, as I’ll wind up with points on my license and higher insurance premiums.

Increase your deductible

If you’re willing to bear a greater portion of the risk, you can save a significant amount of money. Simply call your agent and ask them to increase your deductible. Just be sure that you have enough cash on hand to cover your out-of-pocket expenses in the event of an accident.

Drop unnecessary coverage

If you’re driving an older car, you might want to consider dropping your comprehensive and/or collision coverage entirely. After all, what’s the sense in paying a ton of money to insure against damage to a car that might not be worth repairing? Note that I’m not suggesting that you drop your insurance coverage entirely, just the portion that pays for repairs on your own car.

Bundle multiple policy types together

I can’t speak for all insurance companies, but we get a nice “multi-line” discount for carrying multiple policies with a single company. We actually have two car policies, our homeowner’s policy, a personal articles policy (for my wife’s engagement and wedding rings) and an umbrella policy all with the same company.

Ask about other discounts

You might qualify for discounts for being accident-free, renewing your policy, driving relatively few miles each year, taking a defensive driving course, etc. Be sure to talk to your agent and get what you have coming to you.

Shop around

Assuming that you’re doing everything else right, another great way to save money on car insurance is to comparison shop. You can either call around to local agents, or check an auto insurance comparison website. Whatever you do, be sure to buy from a reputable company so you won’t run into any problems if/when you file a claim.

So there you have it… Six simple tips for saving money on car insurance. If you have any further suggestions, please be sure share them in the comments.

Save on Your Insurance by Asking

asking companies if there is a way you can save money, and it turns out that insurance companies are fair game. Save money on your insurance policies by simply asking. Photo by foundphotoslj.

At the financial blog FiveCentNickel, they've put together a guide to saving money on your car insurance which includes tips like increasing your deductible and dropping unnecessary coverage—both tips will work for home insurance too. The easiest tip by far though is simply asking what you can do to save:

You might qualify for discounts for being accident-free, renewing your policy, driving relatively few miles each year, taking a defensive driving course, etc. Be sure to talk to your agent and get what you have coming to you.

The last time I talked to my home insurance agent, for example, I asked her if there was any discounts I was unaware of. She checked my policy and said the only discount available that I wasn't already taking advantage of was the discount for having a home alarm system. The discount for having a monitored alarm was a whopping $400 a year, more than the actual cost of having a monitored alarm system. Simply by asking I essentially got a "free" monitored home alarm with no change in my yearly expenses.

Monday, August 3, 2009

You Must Obey: The Unwritten Laws of Technology

"Fix a computer for a friend or family member, and you'll be tech support for life." This is but one of 35 immutable laws of technology that we've identified and recorded for posterity. There will be a test.

Tech Law Frustration Gordon Moore has one law but we've got him beat. Here at the (unofficial) Tech Law Brain Trust, we maintain a definitive, ever-expanding archive of the laws that govern your technology experiences--whether you know it or not. Please scan these lists to ensure that you are in compliance.

Basic PC Laws

Let's start with Nerve Central--the computer.

Law 1: For every fix that a Windows Update patches, the update will break two more things on your PC. --Darren Gladstone, PC World

Windows Update HellLaw 2: The likelihood that Windows will automatically install time-sucking critical updates is directly proportional to your need to get your PC started. --Steve Fox, PC World

Law 3: The hard drive always fails just before you were going to back it up. --Denise Paolucci, Dreamwidth Studios via Help A Reporter Out (HARO)

Law 4: Your data will get corrupted just before you plug in your new backup external drive. --Darren Gladstone, PC World

Law 5: Your backup plan is only as good as your last successful restore. --Michael Fisher, ElephantDrive.com via HARO

Law 6: The number of USB ports on your Mac will always be one less than you need at any given time. --Blair Hanley Frank, Macworld

Law 7: Feeling time pressure to make a computer fix quickly will cause you to take longer. --David Marshak, via PC World Facebook page

Law 8: If you close the PC case with screws before testing, it won't work; If you test before closing, it will. --Harry Liebman via HARO

Tech Support Rules

Now that you've mastered the basics, you're ready to move on to Tech Support.

You ARE the Tech Support!Law 1: Fix a computer for a friend or family member, and you'll be tech support for life. --Danny Allen, PC World

Law 2: Build a computer for someone, and he/she owns you! --Louis Farbstein, via PC World's Facebook page

Law 3: Recommend a product that you've used with no problems, and the friend/family member who buys it will immediately descend into RMA [product return] hell. --Scott Keck, via PC World's Facebook page

Law 4: Show any handy IT skills at work, and your company's IT department will start referring difficult coworkers to you. --Lars Jacobsen, via PC World's Facebook page

Law 5: If it's broken and you call tech support, it will fix itself while you're on hold. --Brenda Christensen, Public Relations, Servoy.com via HARO

Internet Ordinances

You can find a world of trouble online. For instance...

Keep your friends close...Law 1: Within a month of agreeing to be "friends" with your boss on Facebook you will regret it, big time. --Tom Spring, PC World

Law 2: The crappier the Web site, the sleazier (and sketchier) the ads. --Tom Spring, PC World

Captcha drives us nuts!Law 3: When entering "Captcha" verification codes on a Web site, you'll always type in the numeral 1 when the site wants a lowercase L, and a capital O when the site wants the number 0. --Steve Fox, PC World

Law 4: Just before taking out the boss in a WoW raid, your Internet connection will die. --Nick Mediati, PC World

Law 5: The difficulty involved in redeeming a rebate is directly proportional to the dollar value of the rebate. --Tom Spring, PC World

The kitten did it.Law 6: A nasty draft e-mail will always find its way to the (unintended) recipient. --Brian X. Chen

Precepts of Mobile Tech

Desktop technology isn't the only source of inevitable woe in your life. All those shiny mobile devices can cause pain, too, since the freedom of untethered technology doesn't extend to immunity from rank on rank of frustrating unalterable laws. We report 10 master Mobile Laws here.

Law 1: The charger for your current cell phone will not work with the next cell phone you buy. --Kimberly Brinson, PC World

Law 2: Your laptop's charger weighs half of what your laptop weighs. --Darren Gladstone, PC World

Battery life ebbing.

Law 3: A laptop battery will drain at twice its normal rate whenever you leave home without your power cord. --Kimberly Brinson, PC World

Corollary: Your laptop's battery life is inversely proportional to the amount of work you need to get done on a single charge. --Blair Hanley Frank, Macworld

Law 4: Your iPod or iPhone will be on its last burst of power just as the plane door shuts. --Anne B. McDonald, PC World

Law 5: A replacement battery charger will cost 70 percent of the original purchase price of the device. For phones, the figure is 140 percent! --Robert Strohmeyer, PC World

Law 6: Your cell phone will inevitably break before your two-year contract is up, forcing you to overpay for a new, less-cool model. --Lauren Barnard, PC World

Law 7: The proprietary charging plug (cost to produce: 50 cents) for your device will disappear within two weeks and will cost you $40 to replace. --Darren Gladstone, PC World

Law 8: On any vacation, the memory card for your digital camera will be safely lodged in the card reader on your desk at home. (And the camera's proprietary battery will be dead, with the charger sitting next to the card reader.) --Anne B. McDonald, PC World

Soft drinks are also bad for PCs.

Soft drinks are also bad for PCs.
Law 9: A cup of coffee on your desk is guaranteed to render your laptop utterly useless. --Nick Mediati, PC World

Law 10: Your MagSafe adapter will always come unplugged precisely when you need to charge your Mac laptop's battery. --Nick Mediati, PC World

Software Statutes

Finally, if entanglements with hardware principles don't leave you bound and gagged, there are always software standards to render you helpless.

Law 1: Your software provider's online support pages contain explicit instructions for troubleshooting every conceivable problem--except yours. --Mark Sullivan, PC World

Law 2: Nine times out of ten, tinkering with your Registry to fix a system issue will create a new problem that's more severe than the original. --Travis Van, ITDatabase via HARO

Law 3: Ten times out of ten, downloading a spyware product will create hidden processes/services more insidious than the original malware/adware encroachment you set out to stop. --Travis Van, ITDatabase via HARO

Do Not Enter!

Graphic: Diego Aguirre
Law 4: The performance increase you can expect from running a Registry cleaner can be calculated as z(n + y), where n is the number of Registry entries cleaned, y is your system CPU's clock speed in gigahertz, and z = 0. --Robert Strohmeyer, PC World

Law 5: The larger the number of people who want your iPhone app, the likelier Apple is to reject it. --Nick Mediati, PC World

Law 6: iTunes will crash. That's it. No, really. --Darren Gladstone, PC World

If you don't do it right, it may go on your permanent record!We here at the (unofficial) Tech Law Brain Trust are always happy to consider additional axioms, postulates, propositions, theorems, and conjectures to supplement these basic rules of tech use.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Bypass Cellphone Voicemail Instructions with One Star Pound

Next time your call goes to voicemail, there's no reason to contend with the insufferable 15-second instructional that precedes the beep. Here's how to skip ahead and leave your message in peace without wasting precious minutes.

Photo by Florida Hippy.

To avoid the dreaded how-to automated guide, simply remember "one star pound." More specifically, our own Gina Trapani points to blogger Jeremy Toemon's "three-key combo":

* Step One: Push 1. If your friend is on Sprint (or possibly Verizon, but not always), this skips the greeting and you are done, skip to End. IF you hear a message that says "One is not a valid option" skip to Step Three below, otherwise continue to Step Two.
* Step Two: Push *. If your friend is on Verizon, you'll hear the beep, and can leave your message. Skip ahead to the end now.
* Step Three: Push #. This works for both Cingular and T-Mobile subscribers, and you're all set to go.

Alternatively, if you'd like to voice your frustration with the mandatory cellphone instructional, the New York Times' David Pogue lists contact information for several carriers:

If your provider was not listed and you know the skip-ahead code for your carrier, share it in the comments. And if you have other ways to bypass mandatory cellphone rules (e.g., quickly deleting messages), leave those in the comments as well.